Is It Too Late To Say I Love You?
by RidiculouslyOverObsessed
Summary: Rita returns to the ED after her confrontation with Iain and has some difficult decisions to make. But after a startling revilation from a certain consultant, will Rita's leaving plans be as simple as she thought? Or will there be more terror and angst along the way?


**A/N:** **Okay, so seen as though I'm really bitter about the way Rita left and I'm total Freechamp trash, I've decided to rewrite sections from 'The Fear' up until (at the very least) the 30th anniversary episode so that it moulds to my every gay want and desire.**

 **This fic is also dedicated to my beautiful best mate Sophie ( thateruditelunarinthetardis on Tumblr) who is going through some really shit stuff right now. She's an incredible person who deserves a whole lot of love. I love you sweetheart, my lil pumpkin, my lil nerd.**

* * *

"Rita's back in today."

Connie looked up quickly from the notes on her desk, her eyes meeting the senior nurse's.

"Oh?"

"I just thought you'd like to know. It'll be hell out there for her today." Charlie noted the flash of concern that crossed his bosse's face.

"Hm. Thanks Charlie."

She sighed softly as he left her office. She couldn't help feeling that this was partially her fault. It was her who had told Rita to tell Iain everything. It was her who had told her to forget him, to move on. Yet, she hadn't told her that... no. Now was not the time to reflect on that. She had to make sure Rita's first day back went as smoothly as possible.

* * *

She watched the young blonde nurse fight back the tears that threatened to pour down her cheeks as she peeled off towards the lift. Quickly, Connie slipped into the lift as the doors closed.

"Rita..."

"Do you think I'm a freak Connie?" The blonde whispered, hands trembling, eyes on the floor.

"...Yes. But then again, find me one person in this place that isn't a bit freaky."

The blonde giggled slightly, eyes meeting her seniors at last.

"Charlie?" She offered, eyebrow arching mischeavously as she sniffed.

"Have you seen him on tequila?" Connie exclaimed, giggling, "Look Rita, I'm not saying what you did was right. But I get why you did it. It's hard letting go of someone you love."

"Maybe I should leave." Rita snuffled, smiling gratefully as the tall brunette offered her a tissue.

"No. I won't let you."

"Why? All I ever do is cause problems."

"Because I- because the department can't run efficently without you. You're the best clinical nurse manager this place has ever had."

"Ha. You're Connie Beauchamp. You'd find a way to make it work just to spite Hansen."

"True. But it wouldn't be the same. I need you here Rita."

Rita's eyes widened in suprise as Connie blushed. The blonde opened her mouth to try and get more information out of the clinical lead, but the lift doors opened and the brunette quickly disappeared into the bustling ED.

* * *

Connie opened the doors to resus, finding Rita sat on the floor in the corner, blood and the tissues being used to mop it up surrounding her. Daintily, Connie navigated the debris on the floor and sat next to her.

"I have to go Connie. It's time. I need to move on."

"Rita-"

"No. You can't talk me out of this Connie. I'm sorry. I have to resign. I have some holiday to use which will last the notice period. This ends today."

Connie looked away as a tear slipped down her cheek. It wasn't fair. She couldn't lose her now.

"What did you mean when you said you needed me here earlier? And don't bullshit me with the whole 'the department needs you' speal."

"I- I need you Rita."

"Yes, but WHY?"

"I-I-"

"Oh for God's sake Connie!" Rita cried, exasperated, "This is it! Don't you get that? I'm done with the drama of this place. All the secrets, the deception, the pain, I can't take it anymore! What is so difficult to say? For the love of God I sent you to PRISION. Surely there's nothing you can't say to me after that?"

"I can't do this to you-"

"Do what? What exactly could you do that's any worse than what's already been done?"

"Oh I don't know! Tell you I loved you as you were about to leave forever? Connie spat, getting to her feet.

"What?" Rita's voice shook as she looked up at her boss.

"I love you. I think I always have. But that doesn't matter now. You're leaving. You've made your decision." Connie wiped away the tears at the corner of her eyes, and began to walk quickly out of resus.

She was seconds from the door when she felt Rita grab her arm. As she turned round, Rita pulled her close and, tentitively, kissed her. Connie was so shocked she forgot to react. The blonde pulled away, confusion ingrained on her face.

"I thought-"

Rita was interupted by Connie's lips meeting hers, and this team the kiss was reciprocated, three years worth of suppressed feelings of passion pouring out all at once. It seemed like a lifetime before they broke apart, foreheads resting together as they struggled for breath.

"Wow..." Connie whispered, a soft smile tugging at her lips.

"I'm sorry..." Rita choked, tears pouring down her face as she released her grip on Connie's waist and raced off, hand clapped over her mouth to stop the tears escaping.

"Rita?" The brunette called after her, hastning after her.

She eventually caught up with the short blonde in the peace garden. Rita was sobbing heavily into her knees, confused and terrified.

"Rita?"

"I can't- do this-"

"Do what?"

"This! Us! I have to go. Why couldn't you have just let me go?"

"I shouldn't have said anything. I should have kept my stupid mouth shut. I'm sorry. Forget I said anything. If you need to leave, I-I'm not going to stop you."

"But I don't want to forget it. That's the problem. This is all I've wanted Connie. But I can't stay and explore it. Holby- there's just too many bad memories here."

"So go. I can't have you staying here just for me."

"Come with me?" Rita asked, finally meeting Connie's gaze, biting her lip nervously.

"What? Where to?"

"Anywhere. Everywhere. Me, you, Grace, let's get out of here."

"Okay."

"Are you serious?"

Connie sat next to Rita again and slipped an arm around her shoulder pulling her close.

"I am. Grace will benifit from a change of scenery, and I have no ties to this place now Elliot's gone and Jac's got Emma. It's time to move on, like you said."

Rita lay her head on Connie's shoulder, smiling softly.

"Hansen's gonna hate us for this isn't he?"

"Oh who cares? He already dislikes me anyway, I think it was the giant depressing swede comment..."

Rita giggled, wiping away her tears. The brunette kissed her forehead, and the two sat in comfortable silence for a few hours, enjoying the summer blooms that surrounded them.

* * *

"I need a few days to sort out the transition of clinical lead to Elle Gardner before I can leave here for good, is that okay?" Connie asked the short blonde who was sat by her desk.

"Yeah, course! Gives me a few days to fornulate a plan of action. Maybe we could go to Brazil, salsa the night away?" Rita arched her eyebrow seductively as Connie rolled her eyes.

"Hmm... maybe somewhere a little more child friendly? We can still salsa the night away in Spain."

"Oh no." Rita shook her head and got to her feet, sweeping the brunette into her arms (the latter had taken off her heels so the two were now a similar height), "In Spain we tango."

The blonde began to demonstrate, Connie giggling helplessly in her arms.

"I love you Rita Freeman."

"I love you too Connie Beauchamp."

 **A/N:** **Reviews are always appreciated!**


End file.
